


He Blinded Me

by The Little MerBucky (blue_pointer)



Series: Death Comes Calling [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood Drinking, Engineering Bucky, Evil Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Jarvis is onto you, M/M, Sanctum Sanctorum (Marvel), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony at work, Vampire Bucky Barnes, she blinded me with science, when you accidentally hypnotize the one you love, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 02:48:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12003381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/The%20Little%20MerBucky
Summary: Armed with knowledge from the Sanctum Sanctorum's library, Tony and Bucky set about building a suit that can defeat Steve. Nick lays out his plan for Rhodey at the hospital. When Tony's anti-vampire weapon nearly kills Bucky, he's determined to fix him. But what does Bucky want?





	He Blinded Me

**Author's Note:**

> Back to our regularly scheduled vampires. Because actualjohnwatson and Bill_Longbow poked me.

Eventually, Tony got the information he needed from the book. And even though Bucky wasn’t being particularly helpful, or succumbing to any of Tony’s charms, that was fine. He didn’t need Bucky’s help. He’d show him. He’d show him what a Stark could do on his own!

But first, he needed a lab. And sure, he could traipse around the whole giant mansion until he found one. Or… He glanced back at Bucky, pouting. Why was the vampire just standing there? Was he just toying with him? Was he actually interested? He’d made it clear he couldn’t help him outright. So, what? Why was he still here? “Do you really want to help me?” he asked, feeling hurt that Bucky hadn’t flung himself into his arms yet.

“I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Well, I need a lab. Think you can find me one in this giant place? Or is there a glass elevator that can take us right there?”

Bucky glanced up and around them, as if the library--perhaps the building itself--could hear them. “We are in need of a scientific laboratory,” he said.

This time, even Tony heard it: the sound of a door being unlocked. He glanced in the direction of the clicking noise. Had there been a door there earlier? He could have sworn it had been a bookcase previously. “Well. I guess this is it, then.” Tony tucked the vampire hunting tome under one arm and bravely proceeded to the new door. “Nothing to be afraid of,” he told no one in particular. “I mean, if there was, I wouldn’t be afraid.”

“Certainly not.”

Tony whirled to see if Bucky was mocking him, but he was just standing a step behind Tony, patient.

“Fine.” He turned the handle and stepped through into a chemistry lab, all stainless steel and beakers and test tubes, liquids of every imaginable color, and eyewash stations up to code. “Well, it’s a lab,” Tony said. “Try again.”

Fortunately, Bucky didn’t seem to mind taking orders from him. Tony wanted to ask why, but. He doubted he would get a straight answer out of the vampire. Or a gay one, for that matter.

They tried again, and found themselves stepping into a microbiology lab. Tony was afraid to look too closely at the petri dishes. He wondered if the building would cooperate if he asked himself. Somehow, he doubted it. Also, if he didn’t ask, he didn’t have to find out. And that meant Bucky had to keep coming along. Tony found having Bucky with him strangely comforting, in spite of the frustration of not being able to kiss and touch him like he wanted to.

The bioengineering lab was wrong, but perhaps a little bit closer to what he wanted. At least they were moving in a direction; Tony couldn’t handle standing still when there was work to be done. “Try again,” Tony told him. Maybe the building did only listen to vampires. It was completely possible.

“An engineering laboratory,” Bucky said, glancing back at Tony for approval. Tony nodded. This time, the door led into a rough workshop. Tony glanced around, hands on his hips. It would do.

“If I tell you to ask for specific equipment, do you think the...whatever, the building, the spirit of Christmas Present would provide it?”

Bucky shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to ask.”

“Right.” Tony sighed, trying to organize all the thoughts crashing around in his head. He reached for Bucky, because touching him seemed to help. He took his hand and squeezed it, eliciting a sad smile from the vampire. “Hey.” Tony moved closer, brushing Bucky’s hair back from his temple. “It’s gonna be okay, sugar. Trust me. Now I have the intel, it’ll be a snap.”

 

*

 

Bucky somehow doubted this. If destroying them were a snap, the elders wouldn’t have put strict codes in place to curb their numbers. But he seemed so confident. Bucky sighed. His hand was so warm. He found himself rubbing his thumb across Tony’s calloused knuckles. When the mortal responded with a hopeful smile, he quickly let go. Best not to encourage his infatuation.

“First things first. May I have a wall monitor, please?”

Bucky nodded. It wasn’t just a wall monitor he wanted. So he went ahead and asked the sanctum for the works: a touch screen with the lightning-fast computer to match. With a whir, a giant monitor popped out of the far wall. Tony shook his head. “You’re amazing.”

“That’s not true at all,” Bucky told him firmly. This infatuation was really getting out of control. “It wasn’t me, Tony.”

Tony stood on tip-toe to kiss his cheek. “I’m gonna kiss you anyway.” Then he patted Bucky’s behind, giving him a start. What cheek! Bucky found his heart beating faster. Silly, really. He just wasn’t used to intimate touches from anyone but Steve, that was all.

While Bucky pondered his reaction, Tony hunted around until he’d found a keyboard and some wires and cables. Bucky had no idea what he was doing, but whatever it was, he was quick about it. In moments, he seemed to have arranged everything to his liking. Then, with a smirk, Tony started typing madly, fingers flying over the keys in no pattern Bucky could discern. Letters, numbers, and punctuation scrolled across the monitor at a dizzying pace. “What are you doing?”

Tony paused for dramatic effect. “There’s just one more thing I need…”

Oh, there was? “What is it?” Bucky asked, ready to help. He felt useless when it came to modern technology, but if Tony needed more materials…

“Uh, this one’s up to me, cupcake.” Tony finished typing, and pressed one last button. “J…” He began softly. “Can you hear me?”

Tony’s relief was palpable. Whatever he’d just read on the screen seemed to have cured all of his ills. Then Bucky heard the voice of the computer he’d spoken with at Tony’s home. “May I assume from this summons that you are well, despite your present company?”

“Never been better,” Tony grinned, elated to have his partner back. “And present company’s a friend.” He glanced over at Bucky with naive, trusting eyes.

“As you say, Sir.” The computer brain knew better. It was immune to Bucky’s influence. If only Tony was, too.

He noticed the look on Bucky’s face and mistook it for protest. “Don’t you start.” Tony tugged the hem of his shirt down, preparing to get down to business. “Now c’mon, kids. We’ve got work to do!” He dragged the tiny, evil robot up onto the table where it began taking photo after photo of the text they’d brought from the library. “J, just upload the whole thing, would you? I’m gonna get started on schematics.”

 

*

 

“Who are you again?” Rhodey had opened his eyes to a one-eyed man sitting at his bedside. Which was disconcerting enough. And yet the man looked familiar. Had he...dreamed about him?

“Colonel Nicholas J. Fury.” The man nodded, because handshakes were not possible right now with all the tubes and wires attached to him.

Then slowly, slowly, Rhodey began to remember. Everything. “That…” His eyes widened. “That’s not possible!”

The colonel’s strong hand clamped down on his elbow. “Take it easy, son. Losing the scales from your eyes is a shock. Worse when it goes down like this.”

Rhodey turned his head to face the man, realizing. “You’re the cleaner. You’re the guy--”

Fury nodded. “Used to do odd jobs for your dad.”

“And you...you know about all this shit? For real? ...Am I high?”

“No, son,” the man told him, solemn. “At least...not in a way that’d make you hallucinate bloodsucking fiends.”

But suddenly none of that mumbo-jumbo mattered. Rhodey couldn’t breathe. “Hold the phone.” He had to reach down to assure himself they were still there. “I can’t feel my legs...Why can’t I feel my legs?”

 

*

 

Once the rough schematic for the armor was done, Jarvis checked and re-checked Tony’s calculations while Tony made a list of parts he needed. And had Bucky summon them. Tony zeroed in on the blueprint for the right boot, blew it up so that they could easily see the details on the monitor. It wasn’t the armor itself he was worried about, it was the systems, and more importantly, the weapons. “If I get all these pieces together, do you think you can build that?” he asked Bucky, pointing at the schematic.

The vampire blinked up at the blueprint. “I guess...I could try.”

“Great.” Tony smiled. “Ask me if you have questions.” He went back to conferencing with Jarvis about the life support systems.

The instructions seemed fairly straightforward to Bucky. Some of the metal would have to be shaped, welded together, but he could do that. He set about recreating Tony’s idea as best he could. Once he got the rhythm of it, Bucky’s hands moved faster and faster. It didn’t take long at all. He sat back, looking over his own work. He just hoped it was right. “Tony…”

The boy had red safety goggles on, and was doing some welding on what looked to be the breastplate. “Yes, sugar?” He stopped, looked up and took the goggles off. “You rang?” When he saw the boot completed, his eyes widened. “Wha--how did you--it’s only been ten minutes!”

He stalked over to examine Bucky’s handiwork, peering inside, fiddling with some of the bolts. Then he put it down, just staring at Bucky. “Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto! You’re beautiful!” He threw himself at Bucky then, giving him no time to ask what that meant.

“Tony…” Bucky tried to gently pry the boy's arms from around him. “I don’t understand. Did I do good?”

Tony withdrew to look at him again with a tinge of awe. “Did you do good?” He sighed when Bucky still looked confused. “J, play track 12 from workshop mix 373.”

A snappy pop tune emerged from the speakers. Bucky didn’t recognize it.

_It’s poetry in motion..._

“No?” Tony looked disappointed when he shook his head. “Well, whatever. Look, just do that one more time, and then I’ll have you do the rest of the legs.” He turned away, shaking his head, muttering, “Holding out on me.”

_As sweet as any harmony…_

Bucky tried not to be distracted by the music. It was a terrible earworm. He was glad he hadn’t heard it before.

 

*

 

_And failed me in biology…_

Tony could relate. Seriously, though. Why had Bucky been playing dumb this whole time? He could put a design together almost faster than Jarvis. He still hadn’t finished the breastplate when Bucky came to have him check the second boot.

Finally Tony gave up, letting Bucky do the assembly while he worked on systems and wiring. At some point he realized Bucky was using his vampire strength to bend the metal. Tony thought he’d found his new assistant for life.

In less than two hours, the armor was complete. With Bucky’s help and Jarvis giving instructions, Tony tried it on. It was heavy, but not too heavy.

“Is it supposed to protect you from Steve?” Bucky asked.

“In theory.” Tony liked the way his voice sounded through the speaker in the helmet. Robot-man.

But Bucky looked dismayed. “That won’t protect you from Steve.”

“It’s stronger than it looks, sugar pie,” Tony reassured him. “Come on, try me.”

Bucky reached out and tore the arm off--fortunately, without tearing Tony’s arm off in the process. “You know, you could have broken it to me a little more gently.” Back to square 1.

“I’m sorry, Tony. You said try you.”

“Okay, well maybe that wasn’t what I meant.” He felt he’d earned his pout. “Well don’t just stand there, get me out of here!”

Tony redesigned for tensile strength. The joints were the real weak spot. Bucky kept tearing the arm off at the elbow. So they tried again. And again. And again. Finally Bucky had to actually put forth effort to do damage.

“Okay, that’s enough for now,” he said. “I’m exhausted. J, check out some of dad’s old military designs for inspiration.” Tony turned to Bucky. “Who do I have to sleep with to get some food around here?”

Bucky looked startled. It wasn’t the reaction Tony wanted. “I’m hungry,” Tony whined, leaning back on the table dramatically. “Save me?”

Bucky snorted a laugh. “I’ll see what I can round up.” He disappeared through a small door Tony didn’t remember seeing before. What was it with this place and magically appearing doors?

“Sir, if I may…”

“Did you find something?” Tony looked up at the screen.

“I don’t believe the company you’ve been keeping is good for your health or well-being.”

“Save it,” Tony cut him off. “He stays. That’s final.”

“Very well, Sir. But may I point out that all of this seems to have precipitated from the night you first spent in his company.”

“I don’t care,” Tony said. If only they’d spent that whole night together. Tony couldn’t even remember what his dick tasted like now. He’d gone without for too long. “Anyway, it wasn’t his fault,” he told Jarvis. “It’s the other one. The one from the men’s room.”

“Indeed, Sir.” Showing disapproval with two simple words was talent.

 

*

 

He slithered through the crumbling, abandoned subway tunnels beneath Brooklyn Heights, devouring anything and everything he found. The shrill screeching of rats, the silent deaths of worms, the crunching of cockroach exoskeletons. He was a ravenous, hungry death, and he was coming for all of them.

They would pay. They would pay for doing this. Those responsible, and his sons for helping them, for leaving him on his own when the fire had come. That was as good as an admission of complicity. And once he was healed, they would all pay. He was going to cherish their suffering.

 

*

 

After Bucky had returned with sandwiches and soup--he hadn’t said how--it was back to work. They’d spent the whole morning on armor; it was time to work on weapons.

“Sure, suit’s gotta be strong, but that’s just the defense. What we really need is a good offense.” He glanced at Bucky. “So...daylight.”

“How can you use daylight as a weapon?” He looked frightened. Tony wanted to hold him, but he was in work mode. No more distractions from Miss Sakamoto allowed.

“We should test the spectrum of light, Sir,” Jarvis suggested. “Perhaps we can isolate the requisite frequency or frequencies.”

“Don’t bother,” Tony said. “I already know which one.” He was calibrating the lamp, adding another UV bulb. Couldn’t hurt.

“Still,” Jarvis said… “Your theory shall have to be tested.”

“You can test it on me,” Bucky offered. “I don’t care.”

Tony gave him a look. “You don’t care if we kill you testing out an anti-vampire weapon?”

When he just shrugged, Tony wanted to shake him. “Now listen up!” He slammed his fist on the table, making the keyboard jump. “You are not expendable. You’re not allowed--”

But Bucky’s fingers were on his lips. How had he moved so fast? “You know I don’t care about that,” he said softly. “But you can test it at non-lethal levels...right? Just to see if it works?” When Tony looked doubtful, he added. “I heal very quickly.”

“This will be little more than a theory without his help, Sir.” Jarvis pointed out.

Tony sighed. “Fine. We’ll test it on…” He looked Bucky over, trying to discern what was the least vulnerable/desirable part of him… But he quickly discovered he desired every part…

“Your arm.” He met Bucky’s eyes, and saw no fear there. “Your left arm.” No reason to risk his dominant arm. Bucky simply nodded.  

Tony finished his last minute adjustments to the flood lamp. “Okay, J, when I say go, I want you to give me...just fifty watts, for starters.”

“My pleasure, Sir.” Wait, was he _hoping_ it would do damage?

“Stop on a dime if Bucky or I ask. Clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis replied, soundings a bit disappointed. Tony looked up sharply. “This isn’t his fault, J.”

“As you say, Sir.” He clearly disagreed. But he was wrong. Tony had been there. This wasn’t Bucky’s fault. No matter how he tried to make out that it was.

“Put on one of the gauntlets while you’re holding it,” Bucky said. “Just to be safe, Tony.”

“Fine, grandpa.” He wriggled his fingers into the metal glove. “Happy?”

“Not really.”

Tony tried to read his expression, but he got nothing. “Sweetheart?” He felt guilty. “We don’t have to do this.”

“It’s fine, Tony.”

Feeling nervous, excited, and scared all at once, he reached for Bucky’s hand, taking it gently and splaying his fingers out on the center of the workbench. For his part, Bucky showed no trepidation, just that same depressive sense of calm. Tony wasn’t sure he could do this. That look, it was like Bucky was stabbing him with a thousand tiny knives.

“Ready when you are, Sir,” Jarvis said, snapping him out of his reverie.

“Right. Count of three. One...two…”

In retrospect, Tony couldn’t remember who’d screamed first. One moment Bucky was sitting there on the stool, calm as a drugged man going before a firing squad, the next he was gone, a dark shape writhing in the corner of the workroom. Its inhuman cries made Tony’s flesh crawl.

But that wasn’t what had made Tony scream. What had made Tony scream was seeing the flesh of Bucky’s arm turn to ash. Watching cracks form, being able to see the bones of his fingers through them. Usually he loved being right. Just now, Tony hated it.

“You are to be congratulated, Sir,” Jarvis informed him, unnecessarily. “Your initial theory was correct.”

“Shut up, J,” Tony told him, tripping across the room to try and soothe the injured vampire, to see how he could help. “Bucky, sweetheart?”

The writhing form momentarily became more human again. But Bucky’s face still looked...feral. “Get away, Tony!”

Tony froze where he was. “Why?”

“Becaussssssssssssse…” he hissed, curling in on himself. “I’m hurt, and my body wants to heal. It’s not safe.”

Then Tony understood. “Feeding heals you faster, am I right?”

“This isn’t a joke, Tony,” he growled. “Stay back. Please!”

“No one’s joking,” Tony said calmly, taking another step closer, against his self-preservation instincts.

“Tony. Stop!” Bucky flew to the other side of the room. That was the only word Tony could think of; he moved so fast. Tony just watched him go.

“You should...rest,” he said. “It’ll only be worse if you keep exerting energy...right?” The ball of fabric on the other side of the room whimpered. “But it’ll get better...right? It’s not permanent?” He couldn’t handle the thought that he’d maimed Bucky, somehow damaged him irreparably.

“I’ll be fine,” he grunted. “Just...Just need…” His body went slack, and Tony sprinted across the room in a panic.

“Sir, I don’t believe that’s wise.”

But he couldn’t stop himself. Bucky just lay there...comatose. Or was he dead? It was so hard to tell with a vampire. “I...I don’t know what to do. J, tell me what to do!”

“I’m afraid this goes beyond my expertise, Sir.”

Tony was beside himself. Should he find the burrito? Maybe Sam or Clint or Riley? They’d know what to do, right? He danced from foot to foot, torn between wringing his hands and clutching Bucky like Romeo had Juliet in Act V.  


*

 

“Pull yourself together, son.” Fury reminded Jim way too much of his dad. He’d only just had the talk with his doctor about the fact his paralysis was most likely permanent. He hadn’t even had time for it to sink in. And Rhodey wasn’t a cryer. But this was too much.

“Yeah, your life sucks right now, but you still have one. One of those vampires comes back for you, it’s gonna be another story.”

“I’m not going down without a fight,” he growled, fists clenching in the thin hospital blanket. “That asshole’s got another thing coming.”

Fury was pacing back and forth in front of the window, his hands clasped behind his back. “Now if we’re lucky, that asshole is dead. But in my experience, the undead have a bad habit of crawling back from the brink, just when you think the job’s done.” He turned to Jim, his eye lit with an internal hellfire. “So here’s the plan…”

 

*

 

Bucky awoke from his daytime coma to a terrible pain in his back and a person-sized weight in his lap. His eyes snapped open at the delicious scent. It was Tony.

“Tony!” He tried to push him off his lap, but he was too weak. What was the boy doing? Was he mad?

“Oh thank god!” Tony threw himself at Bucky, flinging arms around his neck. “You can’t leave me, sweetness. I only just found you. Please, please,” he whimpered. “You’re all I have left.”

Bucky rested his good hand on Tony’s waist. “Come on, pal. That’s not true. And I’m fine. See?” He did his best to smile.

“You look like death warmed over!” He sounded angry. Why were people always getting angry at Bucky for not taking better care of himself? He was fine.

“Listen.” Bucky shushed him softly, combing a stray curl behind Tony’s ear. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” He could already feel improvement in his arm. “But I need you to get off my lap, okay? Weren’t we supposed to be working?” Perhaps the temptation of work would be enough.

“Don’t want to,” Tony pouted. “I’m worried about you, Bucky bear. Gotta take care of you.”

Oh god, his jugular was so close… Bucky was panting.

Tony’s eyes shifted up to meet his, sly. “Are you…” He shifted in Bucky’s lap. “Does this excite you, sugar?” His eyelids drooped seductively. “You...and me…”

“Please, Tony!” Bucky lifted him out of his lap as gently as possible. Why? Why now? He hadn’t had a libido for years. This must have to do with his near true-death experience.

“No.” Tony came back to stand at his side, stubbornly. “I’m not leaving until you take my blood.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Sure do,” he said, so calm for being so naive. Bucky was shocked when Tony suddenly produced a straight razor.

He clutched his hand. “No you don’t! Please, Tony! Don’t do this!” But if he’d really wanted to stop him, physically, he could have. Bucky hated himself for being weak.

“Come on, sugarlump. Take your medicine like a good boy.”

He drew the razor across his palm, not deep--thank goodness--but enough to drip blood down his hand to his wrist. Bucky clutched it, quickly licking the wound closed. “Don’t do that,” he growled, holding Tony’s wrist too hard. He could tell from the way the boy winced. “Foolish child. This isn’t a game!”

Tony glowered and drew the razor across again, this time cutting his wrist. “Stop!” But Bucky couldn’t resist. His blood was sweet and young and bursting with vitality.

The second wound he didn’t close as quickly. He was giving in. When Bucky looked up at Tony guiltily, he found him staring back, entranced, lips parted. “Hear me…” Bucky began, ready to command him. And it should have worked. He was close to being fully in Bucky’s thrall.  

But it didn’t. Instead, Tony moved the razor up his arm, and cut again, his forearm this time.

He was grateful the cut was perpendicular to his veins, and not deep, but still. Bucky hurried to close it, whimpering with distress at Tony’s insistence, and his own inability to resist.

“Come on, lover,” Tony breathed, drawing another line on his skin with the razor. “Eat me.”

“No!” Bucky groaned, licking the wounds closed almost as fast as Tony could make them. But he’d made so many. Soon he’d start to lose strength.

When he finally moved the blade up to his throat, Bucky caught the handle of the razor and jerked it away from him, tossing it across the room with a clatter. “ **Don’t**.” He cupped Tony’s face, both hands restored from the boy’s sacrifice. “You’re worth more than this, Tony. You have to see it.”

“But I want you,” Tony said, still in trance. “Please?”

“No!” Why couldn’t Bucky get through to him? This wasn’t what he wanted, but Tony was so deep under his own spell…

“Look.” He held up his left hand, showing it was healed. “All better, see? You don’t have to do it anymore.” He stroked Tony’s cheek. “Everything’s fine.”

“Hold me?” Tony begged, sagging against him.

Bucky picked him up easily, settling Tony in his lap and wrapping arms around him. _Stupid, stupid kitten._ Why was he so self-sacrificing? Didn’t he realize how precious he was?

He felt a subtle pressure at his shoulder, something soft. It was Tony’s lips. “Wanna kiss you,” he said, sounding drunk. Bucky sighed.

“Why?” It was time to end this. To set the boy free.

“Love you,” Tony breathed, eyes fluttering shut as he applied his lips to Bucky’s neck. “Want you.”

Bucky petted his cheek, regretfully. “No you don’t. Listen to me.” He held Tony at arm’s length, waiting for his eyes to open. “I’m a monster. A poison in your veins. Push me out. I’m no good for you, child. Open your eyes.”

“Eyes are open.” Tony’s speech was slurred, drunk as he was on Bucky. He hadn’t lost enough blood for this. “So beautiful...Bucky, so beautiful, from the second I saw you…”

“Shhh.” Bucky put a finger to his lips. “Hush now. Be honest with yourself. That wasn’t your first instinct when you saw me. What was it? Your initial reaction? Remember.”

Tony seemed to think about this. “I was...afraid.” He looked up at Bucky apologetically. “But I’m not anymore. I know you--”

“No.” Bucky told him sadly. “Your first instinct was correct.” He brushed his knuckles along Tony’s cheek. “It always is. Poor kid.” He gently squished Tony’s face between his fingers and thumb. He was so cute. But so vulnerable.

“Wake up!” He slapped him then, gently, across the cheek, as if he were trying to bring him out of a fainting spell.

Tony clutched his face, looking hurt. “Why? Why would you do that?”

“Because,” Bucky leaned forward. “I’m a monster, and the only things you’ll ever get from me are pain and death.” He stared into Tony’s eyes, hard. But he was in so deep. The black coffee of his soft brown eyes just filled with tears.

“Oh, love.” Bucky held him, sighing. What was he to do with this one?

“I love you,” Tony wept. “But you hit me. Why did you hit me?”

“Because I’m trying to wake you up, dearheart. I’m trying to show you the truth.” He stood, picking Tony up with him and putting his feet firmly back on the ground. “Don’t you remember?” Bucky looked furtively into those adoring eyes. “Don’t you remember your life? Everything you’ve forgotten since you’ve been with me?”

“What?” Tony scrubbed at his wet cheeks. “I didn’t forget...I love you.” He clutched Bucky’s hand. “I love you. That’s all I care about.”

Bucky sighed, sitting down in front of him. “But don’t you get it? How wrong that is?”

Tony shook his head.

“Anthony Stark.” Bucky leaned forward in his chair. “Where is your best friend?”

Tony blinked sleepily. “Best...Rhodey? Where’s Rhodey?”

“You love him like a brother, but you haven’t thought of him once since you found me in the garden. Not one stray thought for your poor injured friend.”

Tony blinked, looking shocked. “Rhodey…’s hurt?” He gasped. “Rhodey!” Suddenly he was looking back at the monitor, frantic. “J, how is he? How’s Jim? He’s alive...right? He made it?” He began to pace. “Oh god, how could I forget? How could I forget about my best friend in the world?” He began to tear his hair, and that’s when Bucky knew he was coming out of it.

“Mr. Rhodes’ condition is listed as stable,” Jarvis replied calmly. “Would you care to know visiting hours for St. Vincent's, Sir?”

“Please,” Tony said. “Are there any more…” He tried to think what time of day it was. “Tonight?”

“None tonight, Sir,” Jarvis replied regretfully. “But they begin again at 900 hours. Shall I put it on your calendar?”

“Of course, yes. We’re going.” He glanced back at Bucky, accusingly. “Are you serious? Was that real? You did this? You made me forget my own friend?”

“Not on purpose.” Bucky felt terrible. But he’d done it; there was no denying it. _Terrible._ There was no excuse for it.

“But you did,” Tony repeated, stepping forward. His nostrils flared. “Why? Why would you do that to me? You’re just as bad as he is!”

Bucky couldn’t deny it. Whether he’d done it on purpose or by happenstance, the fact remained he was responsible. He’d been no real help to Tony in any of this.

“Get out of here!” Tony shouted. “You...maybe you really are a monster! Just--shoo! Get away from me!” He was so hurt.

Bucky walked to the door. “If...you need anything--”

“Go!” He sounded close to tears. “Just get out! Don’t come back!”

Bucky’s heart was breaking, but he walked out. Tony deserved his free will. And Bucky had already done enough damage. Perhaps he should go rest. No, he would check on Sam first. Maybe he could help Sam in some way.

He was just so tired. Tomorrow. While Tony went to visit his friend, in the safe daylight hours, he could rest. And maybe this time, he wouldn’t wake. That seemed fair. Something in him felt broken. Dead, gone. But in sleep, he felt nothing. Bucky wanted that.

 


End file.
